"I don't have time for this!" How many times have you thought this to yourself because dating is time-consuming. Yes, you're right. It is time-consuming. However, just squeezing some time between your deadlines and demanding clients isn't your solution.
Let's step back for a minute.
How long are you planning to keep this up? Think about it. If you're thinking about having your own family, you just can't squeeze your family between your work. You may think that you will be able to rearrange your work only when you have a husband and children. However, your clients expectation of you will not have changed unless YOU change it. What am I saying? You need to start the groundwork now so that you'll be able to spend time with your family when you have it. In other words, this is not about time management, not just putting out the fire in front of you, but about looking for the source of fire and fixing it. A week goes by so fast, doesn't it? What about a month? A year? Maybe this is the time for you to STOP just temporarily and think about your ground work and see what you're going to get in the future. Here are three areas that you want to pay attention to if you are struggling to find time besides work:
If you have been saying yes to all the requests from your clients no matter how unreasonable they are, you might have set yourself up for failure. You have not been managing others' expectations of you, you are expected to meet their demands anytime they want. What you could do is to be proactive. For example, you let them know you need their request by Wednesday to meet the deadline on Friday morning. If they don't give you what you need by the time you need it to keep THEIR deadline, you still performed your responsibility by communicating what you need from them. This doesn't promise that they won't do it again, but you are still keeping your stand. If you are still letting the problem happening, ask yourself what it means to you. Being on demand at work means that you feel like you're needed and important? If that's the drive, you need to ask yourself if you are needing this demanding client because you don't see the value in yourself. When you receive the demanding phone call on Friday afternoon, pay attention to your thoughts and feelings. Are you relieved because you will have something to do on Friday evening instead of going home to an empty apartment alone? Are you wearing your Medal of Honor because you're the one who is chosen, not your team members? However, because you keep letting it happen, you don't have time for your happiness and life experiences. And you don't have time to plan for the future. Friday come again soon. Don't miss another Friday evening because you just didn't notice the time is passing by.
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When you choose to say "No" instead of usual Yes, when you choose to say something instead of keeping silence. When you choose to respect yourself instead of letting someone walk all over you. When you choose to take action instead of just observing.
Be aware of those tiny moments. So, what can you do to change what could happen? First, you need to know you don't have to let your circumstances or emotions take over you. You can't control what's going to happen, but you can choose how you respond to them. At the moment when you choose how you respond to what happens in life, that's the moment of truth when you change your life. You've heard of The Law of Attraction. The law says that you need to feel like you already have whatever you desire now to attract it in your life. If it's a car, you go to a car dealership and test drive it. If it's a house, you make an appointment with a real estate broker and take a tour of the house. If it's an object, it's easy. But, what about something like a happy relationship?
They can be your reference. Then, create your own image of healthy and happy relationship.
YOUR relationship won't look exactly like theirs, but you'll get the idea. I want you to see and feel it's POSSIBLE even though you never experienced it before. What happened in the past don't repeat if you don't allow it to be repeated. Remember, it doesn't have to happen to you just because your parents didn't have a happy marriage, or your next relationship doesn't have to be bad just because your past relationships were bad. It's YOU who can do something about it instead of letting the history repeat itself. Find a reference of a successful relationship. Crate your own image, and hold it in your mind.
You might say, “I can’t imagine that far ahead!! You never know what’s going to happen in the future!” You’re right. You won’t know. However, this is what I know.
Your life right now is the result of how you’ve been living your life in the past 3 years. If you keep living your life as you are, you’re living the same life 3 years from now. If you want to be in a serious relationship or be married in 3 years, you have to start doing things and think differently. So, choose your next step consciously. Don't just do things like you always do. You're creating your future now by taking a different step than you took before. I know your friends and family want to give you advice because you’re single. We get that they want to help you because they love you. It could be a little annoying, but before dismiss ALL the advice, you need to choose which advice you want to take and from whom.
If your single friends want to give you advice on relationships and dating, be objective and see if she has a good track record in that department. Is she in a serious relationship, or engaged right now? And see if she is comfortable in her own skin and is genuinely happy about her relationship. How about your married friends? Are they happily married? I understand that she sometimes want to vent about her husband, but is she genuinely happy with her marriage? Don’t ever get involved in a conversation to put down men, relationships, love and marriage! You don’t need any negativity to fight off when you’re trying to find the love for yourself. Here is the situation. You had a great and intimate date with a man. You were so excited about a possible new start of a great relationship! Then, he disappeared. Then, 3 months later, he texted you. What does that mean?
Are you still thinking about him? If so, you didn’t go out on enough dates. Here is the thing. He contacted you now, not because he has come to his senses and wants to start a relationship with you, but because he was lonely and looking for a date to occupy his time! Do you see the difference? Don’t waste any time thinking about him because he is a wrong guy for you. He won’t give you what you want, which is a committed, serious relationship! You’re supposed to be out there actively looking for the one for you. Don’t waste any time on THE WRONG GUY! Did you have a bad date, and you’re still feeling down and not enjoying your weekend? Here are some tips that could help you to get over it.
It’s not you. You didn’t do anything wrong! It has nothing to do with what you did or what you said during the date. So don’t replay what happened in your mind over and over and beat yourself up! Stop that, right now. The date didn’t go well because, simply, he was not the right man for you. Remember, you’re out there looking for only one right man. Don’t overthink it and make it more complicated than it actually is. I know you know this, but I’ll tell you anyway. Not all dates are good, and it’s okay. It’s just another lesson learned to get to the right man for you. You’re out there to find THE ONE. It sounds simple because you don’t need to impress all men, but it sounds difficult because, how would you find only one person among all those men around you? The only thing you can do is that you just have to present yourself as YOU and see if a guy in front of you is right for you. Hi! And welcome back.
I am going to talk about the importance of breaking out from your group. When you go out with your girlfriends, make sure to step away from your group some time during the evening! It will give guys an opportunity to talk to you one-on-one. You might feel like you’re leaving your girls behind because girls must stick together, right? But, remember, a couple is always one-on-one! After all, you’re trying to find love to build a future with one man. Don’t be afraid to be away from your group and be by yourself. For more tips and wisdom to find love, click here to open my Facebook page! Do you want to move on from your last breakup? First of all, let’s think about the reason why you’re still hanging onto it. You might be wishing you knew the real reason why he disappeared. You might wanted he could give you some type of closure. You think you can move on if you knew the truth. Okay, let’s think about this.
You see my point?
Why would you let HIM be the one who can decide YOU can move on? Shouldn’t you be the one who decide how your life is going to lead? There are things that you cannot know, and they should not stop you from moving forward. You just have to decide that you are moving on from the past. I know you won’t get over it over night. So you could go get drunk, go to a spa, hang out with your friends, go to Vegas, or whatever, but it’s going to only a temporary distraction. If you didn’t make a decision that you’re moving on after those things, you will be at the same place again. You can make today is the day that you are no longer facing the past, but the future. I’m going to share 3 Key Points to upgrade your profile today!
Point 1. Get to the point quickly! When he read the first sentence, he needs to be able to picture your personality. Then, go into details, but make it short up so that he can read it by scrolling down once. Don’t write it so long that he needs to keep scrolling down, scrolling down, scrolling down not to get to the bottom… Even though you feel good about your literature, he won’t read it. Once he notices that it’s too long, he will close your profile without reading anything at all. Point 2. If you want responses, make it no-brainer for them to write back to you! Ask a simple question so that he can write back to you. If you like cooking, ask if he likes cooking too. It makes it easier for them to respond. If he likes cooking, you two can have a conversation about your favorite recipes. Point 3. If you want to say that you enjoy travel, don’t just list the countries that you’ve ever been to. Describe your experience and why you liked them. List your top 3 and make sure you don’t write a tourist guide. Additionally, if you want your future partner to join you in what you love doing, make sure you put that in your profile too so that they can imagine how the experience would be like together. |
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